Some Really Funny Jokes

"Help.... the Titanic is going to be drowned...." Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God... Just then a Italian asks the nearby Santa Singh in the ship.

Italian : How far is land, from here ?
Santa Singh : Two miles.
Italian : Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more.
The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again.

Italian : Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here ?
Santa Singh : Downwards ...

Santa Singh to Sunita: "I want to marry you"
Sunita: "But I am one year elder to you."
Santa Singh : "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."

Once, Santa Singh And Banta Singh went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them.

"You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner. So Santa And Banta swapped (exchanged) their sandwiches.

Once, Santa Singh was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt. Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel and exclaimed " sala aaj bhi phisalna hoga".

Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed" ari sala, aaj to choice hai"!!!!!!

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".
2. How many seconds are there in a year?

Santa Singh thought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year.

Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?"

The Santa Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc...."

Saint Peter lets him in without another word